The Orgasm Upgrade:
From Multiple Orgasms
to Orgasmic States
On pleasure as evolution. Nervous system, erotic intelligence, and the spectrum of what’s possible.
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I had my first orgasm at four years old. Spontaneously — not because I knew what masturbation meant, not because someone was inappropriately touching me. Simply because I was putting pressure on my pubic bone and tensing my body in a specific way that led to an orgasm, spontaneously.
And I was like — what is this experience that I’m having? And I found that if I pressed my pubic bone against other objects, this experience would happen again.
In time, I realized I didn’t actually have to put pressure on the pubic bone at all. It was something I could do by contracting my pelvic floor muscles. And then also that there was a way I could breathe, and a way I could draw that energy through the body. When we’re young, we’re actually quite creative — and I had a lot of time to myself.
I’ve been multi-orgasmic for as long as I can remember. But something I want to share is an evolution in my understanding of what that actually means.
When I think of multi-orgasmic today, I think of something punctuated — a peak orgasm followed by another, with no refractory period in between. This is what I remember most from a very young age. What I understand now is that there’s also a sustained state of orgasm, which is something else entirely.
“Orgasm is our opportunity to experience ourselves beyond the mind-body mechanism — beyond the ego. When that becomes a state of being, it’s how we’re living.”
Wave orgasms, valley orgasms — wherein they last not just seconds, but minutes, hours, even days. Rather than sharp punctuations of orgasmic peaks, you can get a sustained orgasmic experience. Not a sharp ascent followed by a sharp decline — more like a growing, shimmering expansion of energy that has peaks and waves within. Like the ocean.
And we can actually decide consciously how we want to experience the pleasure. If we want it to go into a sharp peak, or if we want to edge up to that, or if we want it to be a slow growth. Even surrendering to that immensity is beautiful.
Orgasmic states. Which is just so much more powerful. Because if orgasm is our opportunity to experience ourselves beyond our mind-body mechanism — beyond that ego attachment — and that becomes a state of being, it’s how we’re living, how we’re interacting in our daily activity. That is pretty transformative.
In my younger years, when I lived in New York City, it was very much an attachment to sensationalism. Pleasure was my way of escaping any experience that felt uncomfortable and moving into feeling good. And pleasure is beautiful, pleasure is healing. But at that moment, for me, pleasure was a crutch.
I’m not shaming it. It’s just nice to be able to discern — and to recognize that we can use this energy for our healing in so many different ways.
“Pleasure can resource us as a coping mechanism. Or it can be integrated with full presence in life. That distinction comes with deeper work — and deeper self-realization.”
Our genitalia is innervated by four predominant nerve pathways. The clitoris is innervated by the pudendal nerve. And then we have three nerves accessed internally: the hypogastric nerve, the pelvic nerve, and the vagal nerve.
These are not one specific little nerve traveling through the whole body — they’re branching systems working together in different ways to give us different sensations. Some are stronger and quicker, like the pudendal. Others are more diffuse, spreading effusely through a network of pathways throughout the body. This is where we get the difference between a localized genital orgasm and a full-body orgasm.
We can access orgasm through all of the senses — through smell, through taste, through sound. I’m very auditory. I can get very orgasmic experiences just listening to someone’s voice. There’s ojas in Ayurveda — an essence communicated through the quality of someone’s voice. I can pick up on that, resonate with it so beautifully, that it starts to tingle through my spine.
These nerve pathways are so unique. We want to be mindful of how we’re curating our experiences through touch. Because if we’re looking for longevity, we don’t want to overstimulate. We want to spread that arousal through the different erogenous zones in such a way that we’re in the wave — riding those waves in the valleys — versus peak, crash, peak, crash.
I hope this validated some of your experiences. Gave you some insights, or sparked some further inquiry — some awareness around possibilities you could be exploring in your mind-body-spirit mechanism, as it relates to your erotic energy, your arousal states, and your orgasmic states of being.
Big hugs. I love you all.